Still i rise

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise. 

~Maya Angelou

To have or not to have.....

My connection with kids has always been natural. I absolutely love spending time with kids and can easily relate to them but I've been in a bit of a predicament of late, do i really want children??? Don't get me wrong i have absolutely no problem with kids and i believe they are the most fascinating and intriguing humans and i enjoy every minute spent with them, but is that a reason enough?

Mapunchu and I

I have been failing to answer that question in my life for a while. Why do people have children? I mean the world is overpopulated as it is and scientists have stated that the estimated amount of the worlds natural resources that the entire human race is using has exceeded the worlds renewable resources by 25%!

This just scared the light bulbs out of me, and it got me thinking why would i want to bring someone into a world that has no guarantee of being there in the future? From a biblical perspective the signs of the end times seem to be occurring from every corner and a special mention is Obama's Health Care Scheme and the RFID chip that will be implanted on the forehead or right arm of every individual in order to access free health care. But why will this chip be directly linked to ones bank's account? I wonder.... Another disturbing fact is that this chip has the possibility of being connected to ones motor nerves. An engineer, Dr Carl Sanders, highlighted the dangers of the implantation of these chips saying that they can easily modify a human being's behavior.

RFID chip

Lastly i think certain women use children to get what they want. Picture this; you are the 'other woman' in a relationship and you feel like your grip on this wealthy lad is loosening. So what do you do? Have a baby! That way you know that he will always be a part of your life and your kid for a very long time to come. Other women who have been unlucky in love and seem to have given up on the prospect of ever finding true love decide to transfer that love to another individual, a baby. While this may be commendable and can fill the void for a while such mothers will face a tough time letting go of their kids to enjoy a normal childhood.

With that in mind I could never bear the thought of giving life to someone i can never fully protect. This may sound selfish and egoistic but truth is i cannot stomach failure. i have been fortunate to be surrounded by kids and there is nothing as heart wrenching as not being able to protect or provide for a child and until i find more convincing reasons to be a mom, i think I'll steer clear from motherhood.....

The issue continues!

I really had an arduous time trying to get the guys to open up and tell me what exactly it is that they knowingly do in relationships and get away with it! I was given a million and one excuses ranging from "no comment" to "i don't want you to judge me because of my comment!"

So i decided to pack my bags and change my fishing spot and the catch was little better there. From what i gathered there are three main things that men knowingly and intentionally do in relationships/marriages and they 'think' they can get away with.....  

1. Finances

Men make a lot of  financial decisions without consulting their partners. Most squabbles arise from monetary decisions; the man feels that as the head of the house he can make decisions that, in certain circumstances have an adverse effect both parties. The reason why they do this??? I really don't know but from my research it seems that most men like to plan ahead way before anything materializes and thus make decisions without making any consultation....

2. Lies

Lies, intentionally false statements, are the order of the day in every relationship. From the petty white lies to the serious destructive lies, it seems to have become the norm to some people. I asked a bud of mine and he said that men lie, its like second nature. And when the missus eventually finds out it kills the trust in that relationship.

 3. Cheating

 Now this is the category where most men fall into. And all the reasons I got were so cliche: "All men cheat, its in our DNA" "Women lose the urge to dress up once they get married" "Variety is the spice of life".....and the list goes on. I honestly didn't buy any of those excuses and frankly speaking cheating does NOT come naturally. Every cheat has a motive, whether its a man or woman, its a sign that your relationship is lacking something and its up to you to make a conscious effort to re-ignite that flame!

Relationships and all things complex

 So i have been having an ongoing argument with a good friend of mine about manipulative tendencies that are common in most, if not all relationships. Its really been an interesting and frustrating dispute and i just had to share some of the crazy "theories' my friend, who I'll call Homer (yes as in Homer Simpson!lol)has.

Homer is of the opinion that women allow the men in their lives to get away with things all in the name of love and men have since realised this and use this against women. My argument however was every individual is different from the next so there is tons of  tolerance and compromise for any relationship to work. So we went back and forth for several days until we agreed to disagree on the topic. Feeling rather unsatisfied by the verdict i sat down and had a little honest reflection of all the past relationships i had and i was actually startled by the revelation i had on my own.
 
So my question now was to find out if other women actually did notice this or maybe i just being delusional and this is what i found....


My first port of call was to pose the question to Zuva, a fellow blogger and sister and this is what she had to say :-

"i think the biggest thing is that women are not honest from the beginning. we get scared to ask/ say what we really want. e.g. does this man ever want to get married in the future? does he want kids? what is really going on i.e. are we dating as in a relationship or are we just kicking it? and that sets up for a fall coz you're with this guy 6 years and he says but we were just friends with benefits or we were just hanging out and he "dumps" you and marries someone after 3 months etc we as women get scared to say what we want from the beginning and i think now men know this so this could make him feel like he has the upper hand, he knows you'll kiss him but u won't ask if you guys are dating coz you'll scare him away... i think now men have learnt this and know and use it against us..."

I had to totally agree with Zuva, i could see a scene in the movie Bridemaids play out. Women are complex, emotional creatures and we get lonely at times. And the sad reality is we have all been in situations where we know we are not supposed to in that situation or be with that person because they treat you like crap but we are also too scared of being alone we pretend not to see that we are being taken for a ride.

I just had to get a second opinion on the matter so i asked a close friend of mine, who i will call Vault (yep she has all my dirty secrets on lock and key)! She was of the idea that men lie and as a woman you can tell when your man is lying but you let it go. Like you know he is lying but its a lie that wont change the state of the world so you let it go. However every human being reaches their boiling point and gets to a point where they cannot take it anymore....

 There was a lot of truth in Vault's response; we all lie men and women alike and its only natural for one to be somewhat understanding when confronted with a similar situation but how much can one take??? I wonder...

So Ladies here's some food for thought and I'll be back to let you know what the fellas had to say  xoxo

French Kiss s'il vous plait?

See u there ;)

So its yet another Friday and im always who one to  look out for interesting parties and i just stumbled across this and i just had to share!

Congo Fever :)

So after the cancer awareness street collection i decided to do something fun and i found myself at Alliance Francaise at a cultural day for all the Congolese in Zimbabwe!

There was lots of good food and good music and the atmosphere was just electric. I have to admit the Congolese really do know how to have a good time!

Oh 20Life you are something else! I think i’ll start posting  upcoming events at Alliance coz thats really where the party at!

                                                       My charming french tutor

Cancer Awareness

I recently decided to get off my high horse and give back to the community that moulded me and to reach out to someone out there whom I may never meet but would definitely want to change their lives in one way or the other.

Through a group called “Her Majesty” (which I’ll blog about later) I decided to join a fundraising initiative for the Cancer Association of Zimbabwe through a street collection. To be honest I had my reservations as I had never participated in anything of this nature but since I had told myself this is 20Life I decided to take on the new challenge with the assurance that I was doing something that would help the next person.

                                                        Varie and a well wisher

It was quite an insightful time as most of the people who donated had lost a loved one to the dreadful disease. I had never realised that cancer has affected so many households in our country and I just hope as individuals we can do more to raise awareness of the symptoms of cancer in individuals and improve our health care system to allow and afford the majority of our population an opportunity to receive treatment in time.

All in all I must say I enjoyed every moment of it and I hope the few hours spent in the sun richly blessed someone who really needs it!

ATT: WOMEN!

My heart bleeds each time I talk to my friends and hear the story of their lives. But I’ve always asked myself what do we women do to deserve all this?

So I went on a young fact finding mission to really know the root of the problem. I really didn’t want to base everything on my experiences because that would be a very biased opinion but I must say I learnt a lot when I really dug deeper into this issue.

I will spare you all the gory details of what has happened to those close to me but I’d much rather talk about our insecurities and how they work or aide to our destruction and oppression by our counterparts.

      Women look for love for the wrong reasons. We try to search for our ultimate happiness in someone else but little do we realize that all we need is to love ourselves and be happy and confident with ourselves as we are. We need to realize that we are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalms 139:14) and we can never fully be happy with life until we are happy with ourselves. It all boils down to self worth; people will treat you in the same manner you treat yourself. Don’t ever expect that man to treat you like a queen unless you act like a princess!

      Women tend to overlook TOO many irregularities and by the time we realize that you cannot live with your mates behavior it’s usually too late. Ladies, a man will never wake up and just start bashing your head after being married to him for 1 year. It’s always the petty things like that shove when you are arguing or his overly controlling nature and the swearing. I would never tolerate a man who calls me a b*%#@ whatever the situation! We somehow seem to turn a blind eye to all the warning signs until the bell finally falls onto head and all you are left with are the scars from the aftermath.

      There are lots of needy women out there! (Yes ladies I just had to say this) It may not always be financially but even the constant nagging can be too much for anybody. Let me talk about the dollar bills first. We all need to realize that a man is supposed to your partner not your father. Most women always opt to look for the wealthy man who will take care of them and their children but the truth is something’s gotta give. You can never fully enjoy a relationship with someone who always seems to have the upper hand in everything. You can never stand up and voice your issues because you are scared you might lose your livelihood but the truth is you are losing your life. You have given up your life to drive a merc or stay in a mansion or to go shopping in New York.

      I’d also want to talk about the emotionally needy woman (most women are, myself included) who have pledged their lives to be central intelligence agents of their partners for the rest of their lives. They make it their business to know where their man is and what he’s doing, who he’s with, and where their going afterwards……..! Oh my gosh I assure you if they could they could they’d stick a bug up their man’s a%# and keep a tab on him 24/7. But I think the issue is not with the man himself but with trust itself. We no longer know the meaning of the word we have become a bunch of doubting Thomas’ we’d rather have him prove it than believe it. And truth is it does any relationship more harm than good. We waste most of out time worrying and fretting about whether our mate is faithful or not we don’t realize that our lives are passing us by focused on an individual rather than on you.

I think I’ll stop here for today, but I will continue to write about this complex issue. . . . . . . .

Motivation

So for a long time now I have been on a constant low….. Mainly due to good relations that went sour, job dissatisfaction, boredom, tons of indecision and all that jazz. But I’ve recently realized that there is only one me on this earth and I only have life, one chance to pursue the ultimate choice of happiness!

I know it’s a little late but I’ve decided to call this year 20Life. I want to put my life out there and see things I never seen, smell new and unique fragrances, eat, laugh and love like there’s no tomorrow.

I’m already excited about it before I’ve started but I pray it will all be worth the while     xoxo