Relationships and all things complex

 So i have been having an ongoing argument with a good friend of mine about manipulative tendencies that are common in most, if not all relationships. Its really been an interesting and frustrating dispute and i just had to share some of the crazy "theories' my friend, who I'll call Homer (yes as in Homer Simpson!lol)has.

Homer is of the opinion that women allow the men in their lives to get away with things all in the name of love and men have since realised this and use this against women. My argument however was every individual is different from the next so there is tons of  tolerance and compromise for any relationship to work. So we went back and forth for several days until we agreed to disagree on the topic. Feeling rather unsatisfied by the verdict i sat down and had a little honest reflection of all the past relationships i had and i was actually startled by the revelation i had on my own.
 
So my question now was to find out if other women actually did notice this or maybe i just being delusional and this is what i found....


My first port of call was to pose the question to Zuva, a fellow blogger and sister and this is what she had to say :-

"i think the biggest thing is that women are not honest from the beginning. we get scared to ask/ say what we really want. e.g. does this man ever want to get married in the future? does he want kids? what is really going on i.e. are we dating as in a relationship or are we just kicking it? and that sets up for a fall coz you're with this guy 6 years and he says but we were just friends with benefits or we were just hanging out and he "dumps" you and marries someone after 3 months etc we as women get scared to say what we want from the beginning and i think now men know this so this could make him feel like he has the upper hand, he knows you'll kiss him but u won't ask if you guys are dating coz you'll scare him away... i think now men have learnt this and know and use it against us..."

I had to totally agree with Zuva, i could see a scene in the movie Bridemaids play out. Women are complex, emotional creatures and we get lonely at times. And the sad reality is we have all been in situations where we know we are not supposed to in that situation or be with that person because they treat you like crap but we are also too scared of being alone we pretend not to see that we are being taken for a ride.

I just had to get a second opinion on the matter so i asked a close friend of mine, who i will call Vault (yep she has all my dirty secrets on lock and key)! She was of the idea that men lie and as a woman you can tell when your man is lying but you let it go. Like you know he is lying but its a lie that wont change the state of the world so you let it go. However every human being reaches their boiling point and gets to a point where they cannot take it anymore....

 There was a lot of truth in Vault's response; we all lie men and women alike and its only natural for one to be somewhat understanding when confronted with a similar situation but how much can one take??? I wonder...

So Ladies here's some food for thought and I'll be back to let you know what the fellas had to say  xoxo